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The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 3

Hey, everyone! Today, I am here with a different kind of post, and that is one focusing on what is probably my biggest guilty pleasure: The Bachelorette! I’m sure that everyone knows what this show is about, but this season’s Bachelorette is 31-year-old Rachel Lindsay, an attorney from Dallas, Texas, who also happens to be the first black Bachelorette ever. AND I LOVE HER. So without further ado, let’s get started on this episode’s recap! Just a note, these posts are going to be pretty informal, since it’s reality TV 🙂

The beginning of the episode takes place right after the final events of last week’s, where DeMario returns to the house and asks to speak to Rachel. Judging by the way all the guys crowded around him, I really thought he was going to get beat up or something, but he didn’t even talk to any of the remaining men. Instead, he just gave yet another bullshit excuse to Rachel, talking about how his Uber driver talked him into coming here, and he used some stupid quote about pain. Rachel, being the slaying queen she is, told him that she understands he needs to move forward, but “Forward isn’t that way, it’s that way, outside of this house.” SLAY!!! Then, when the men ask her if DeMario is coming back, she says “Fuck no.” I don’t think I could love Rachel anymore.

The thing is, when I saw DeMario in the first episode, I really wanted to like him. He is so attractive, but then he just got way too cocky in the last episode, and of course, he was #exposed, so I’m glad his sorry ass has gotten kicked out. Now we just need some other assholes to leave too….

In typical Bachelorette fashion, we have our regular drama, continued this week with Blake and Whaboom Lucas. Lucas is weird as fuck, but at least he embraces it, so that makes me hate him a tiny bit less. But BLAKE? I hate that bitch so much. He was literally always whining about Lucas, and I honestly thought it was disrespectful how the only thing he would ever talk to Rachel about was Lucas. Like, you are being BLESSED just by being able to sit in the same room as this woman, and you’re wasting your time complaining about Whaboom? Please. Lucas tells Rachel that Blake is honestly a creep, and that he’s been standing over his bed every night and eating bananas. Blake’s response? It’s impossible, because he doesn’t eat carbs.

I cannot even begin to explain how much I fucking hate this guy.

Then we get to the rose ceremony. Bryan, Bryce, Brady, Eric, Anthony, Jack, Jonathan, Matt, Alex, Adam, Kenny, Lee, Fred, Diggy, and Iggy are all going through, along with the other guys who were announced from last week. I honestly forgot half of these men even existed, because honestly the ones I’m here for are Eric, Kenny, Peter, and Dean. In a “shocking” turn of events, both Blake and Lucas are eliminated, and they get in the weirdest, most immature fight I have ever seen outside. I’m not even going to waste my time discussing it, because it was that ridiculous.

The men going on the first group date are announced, and they are Bryan, Tickle Monster, Peter, Alex, Will, and Fred, and they are all headed off to the Ellen show!! The first thing they do is take their shirts off and dance like strippers in the audience and, honestly, it gave me life. That being said, I really don’t like Bryan or Alex. Bryan is too much for me, and I also feel like he’s a really weird kisser. I can’t explain why I don’t like Alex, I just….don’t. I still have no idea how Tickle Monster is on this show, Will is super cute, I feel bad for Fred because he’s clearly never going to be seen as more than the kid from summer camp, and I AM IN LOVE WITH PETER. He is so sweet and cute and adorable and perfect. Him and Rachel are amazing together, and I really hope he wins.

The men then play a game of Never Have I Ever, giving me serious One Direction feels, and we find out Alex peed in the pool (ugh), Fred hooked up with a woman twice his age when he was 21, and they’ve all kissed Rachel except for Fred, Alex, and Tickle Monster. Peter was so shy and cute here, I wanted to die. I just love him so much.

After Fred talks about how he’s sure that he’s finally convinced Rachel he’s no longer a little kid, she tells the cameras she felt like she was “kissing a little boy”, and she sends him home. It’s sad, but I honestly didn’t really care, because when they all thought she was going to give him the rose, Peter’s face fell, and I really don’t need that kind of pain in my life. Alex gets the rose. No comment.

Anthony, who I honestly forgot existed, goes on a group date with Rachel, and they ride horses throughout Rodeo Drive. I was so bored this entire time, and I was literally on my phone because I couldn’t care less about Anthony. He’s cute and nice, but no. Just no.

Then the guys for the next group date are chosen, and they are accompanied by Rachel’s squad to a mud wrestling tournament. It’s disgusting, but funny to watch, and ultimately Bryce ends up beating Kenny, the professional wrestler, which was weird. Then, at the cocktail party afterwards, shit begins to go down because Eric finds out Lee and Bryce told Raven they didn’t think he had good motives.

Lee goes on with some bullshit about how he loves Eric to death (he says this so many times that Eric is literally like “Why do you keep saying that?”) but he questions his character and how he’s never been in love. Judging by literally every single thing about him, I would be surprised to find out that Lee has been in love. I hate him so, so much, and thankfully, the producers are painting him as the villain here.

I can’t decide how I feel about Eric. I really liked him before, because he is so cute, but he was a little weird in this episode. I do hate Iggy and Lee, though, and Bryce is irrelevant, and I didn’t think he was being too over the top either. I mean, I’d be pissed, too, if I was the one who was constantly targeted. I don’t understand why these guys choose to talk about other guys during their alone time with Rachel instead of trying to, hmm, I don’t know, get to know her better?? It’s super petty and immature.

The preview for next week’s episode has got me excited, because it shows Will putting racist Lee in his place by telling him that he’s essentially playing to the factor of portraying black men as angry so white people can get what they want. I love him for it.

So that’s it for this week’s episode of the Bachelorette! I’ve never watched it before this season–I’m more of a Bachelor girl–but I just love Rachel so much. She’s so strong, smart, inspirational, and she knows what she wants. I love it.

I’ll see you guys next Tuesday with my recap for the next episode! Do you watch The Bachelorette? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Who’s your favorite? If you couldn’t tell, mine is Peter 😉

-Dana

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